Nighttime Personalities Target Trump's Controversial 'Gold Card' Residency Plan

TV's top hosts devoted the airtime criticizing President Donald Trump's just unveiled immigration initiative, labeled the "Trump card," characterizing it as a clear pay-to-play arrangement for the affluent.

Colbert's Sarcastic Spin

Starting his broadcast, Stephen Colbert presented a sardonic holiday song targeting the president. "He is compiling a list, reviewing it twice, before handing that list to the people at ICE," he crooned. "Trump ... ruins all he touches."

Colbert's target was the controversial plan which enables international nationals to acquire U.S. legal status for a sum of $1 million dollars, with a "top-tier" version for five million. The program's page pledges approval "faster than ever."

"A brief message here to wealthy immigrants: before you pony up, what about Canada?" Colbert remarked.

He noted that the card is also meant to "get cash" from companies wanting to hire skilled workers, requiring hefty payments. "That's a lot of fees, though if you register, you also get free accommodation at a hotel of your selection – as long as it's the a specific Marriott," he said.

"The best background check the U.S. government has before done," remarked Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "that $15,000 vetting to verify these people truly are eligible to be in America."

"That's important, you gotta prove you're fit to be an American," Colbert responded. "Question one: how many burgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Humorous Commentary

On his late-night show, Jimmy Kimmel referred to the visa program the "Get Into America Express Card."

"It's a card that will let affluent foreigners to live here," he explained. "For a million dollars, you get legal visitor status, you get a road to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one serious crime of your selection."

"Perhaps it's time to change that inscription on the Statue of Liberty – never mind your tired masses. Give us a million bucks, you're in!" he remarked.

Kimmel teased the simplicity of the form, saying it is "more difficult to start a Wordle account." He said that Trump "believes citizenship is something you can sell, like a condo."

"That's right, the best people are the rich people," Kimmel quipped. "It's what Jesus always said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you give the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers discussing Economic Issues

Elsewhere, Seth Meyers addressed Trump's plunging poll numbers amid economic anxiety. "People gave Donald Trump a second term because they were angry about the economy," he explained.

Recently, in a attempt to discuss affordability, Trump conducted a briefing in front of a display of grocery items, and behaved strangely to boxes of cereal.

"What a nice job, I think I'm going to take some of them with me to my cottage and have a lot of fun," Trump said. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't seen Cheerios in a long time."

"He is so incredibly weird," Meyers reacted. "What do you mean, you're going to take them home to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What exactly happens with those Cheerios?"

Meyers wrapped up by mocking conservative media arguments of Trump's financial record. "Maybe instead of voicing concerns, you should give him a shiny trophy like what FIFA did," he remarked.